"I spent the rest of the vacation as far away from them as I could," she writes, and "pretended" to everyone she met that she was having "the perfect Hawaiian vacation." Kelly writes that they resumed their habits the same day: Mateus rosé for Brenda cocaine for George.
Sadly, both parents broke it almost immediately. The undersigned agrees to these conditions so that we can all have a perfect Hawaiian vacation.' I even drew those little lines with their names underneath, and they both signed it."
"I wrote out a UN-style peace treaty that stated, 'I, George Carlin/Brenda Carlin, will no longer buy or snort cocaine, drink alcohol, or argue with each other for the rest of the vacation. They did stop, and little Kelly became the adult: "I screamed and hurled myself between them. Then Mom picked up a kitchen knife, and Dad did, too. They fought, threatened divorce, and argued about every trespass they'd ever committed against each other in their 14 years together. The coke was running low, Mom wanted more and Dad wouldn't share. "We had spent the entire day in the bar in Lahaina so my dad could score some coke and weed. One such story took place in a hotel room in Hawaii when Kelly was 11 years old. Kelly's book has harrowing stories involving her as a little girl alone with her mom and dad while both of them are wasted on drugs and alcohol. "I sat in the audience listening to this going, 'Well, of course this disgusts him, because, you know, he was the ultimate laissez faire parent.'" The audience howled and Kelly says she laughed, too, though she wasn't all that surprised. Whatever happened to natural selection, survival of the fittest? The kid who swallows too many marbles doesn't get to grow up and have kids of his own." "You know what it is? These baby boomers, these soft, fruity baby boomers, are raising an entire generation of soft, fruity kids who aren't even allowed to have hazardous toys for Christ's sakes. In fact, in a 1999 HBO special George ranted about overprotective parenting: In her book, Kelly writes that her parents, George and Brenda, could never be accused of hovering over their only child. It's called A Carlin Home Companion, but it's nothing like what you'd find on Lake Wobegon. The daughter of the late comic genius George Carlin has just written a memoir about her childhood. In the comedy world, it's a commonly held belief that there's a dark side to being funny - and Kelly Carlin is living proof.
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